Friday, December 13, 2013

12 weeks

Yeah, how about I spent an hour typing this post on my phone and forgot to save it.  I hate when that happens. So instead of being like, "This is everything we did today!  We were so busy!" It's more like, "Eh, we did a few things."  But maybe that's a good thing so you won't get too bored with my ramblings.  Anyways....

12 weeks!  I feel like it's such a big milestone.  Only 5-8 more weeks until we find out the gender.  Only.... ugh. Going to take foreverrrrr.  Still not sick.  But I'm always tired and take a nap with Penelope every afternoon.  And just this week my skin has been awful.  I forgot that was a pregnancy symptom with all the hormones going crazy.  Don't remember that happening last time.  But I'm hoping it's just a first trimester thing.

I had an ultrasound at almost 10 weeks and the office I go to offers first trimester screenings to check for any defects or major problems with the baby.  Well, they actually give me a referral to somewhere and set it all up.  It's another ultrasound and with my insurance, I would only get two otherwise so I was like, uhh, yes!  Once they found out I was about 10 weeks along they had to make the appointment soon so it was scheduled for the next week.... in Kansas City.  That's 90 miles away.  They gave me the impression that it would be closer so I was kind of mad because I hate driving that far.  And Penelope doesn't like it either.  Josh works nights so I knew he wouldn't be able to go with me because he has to sleep in the afternoon so I asked my friend to go with me.  She went with me to Penelope's first trimester ultrasound too because Josh was in Airmen Leadership School at the time.  A few days before, I got a phone call reminding me about the appointment and they said children are highly discouraged from going.  I was like, too bad!  I don't want to leave her at a babysitters all day or pay for that.  Plus, they never said kids couldn't come.  And I had my friend to help with her.  But that morning Penelope woke up like she was in pain.  She slept awful that night and we wound up on the couch together at some point.  It seemed like every 20 minutes she would wake up and whine and I would shift her and pat her and she would go back to sleep.  When she woke up in the morning she wouldn't stop crying.  Like tears crying.  I had never seen her like that and have no idea what was wrong with her, even now.  She acted like she was in pain but we kept poking her and stripped her down to check for boo boos and couldn't figure it out.  We gave her some milk, so her tummy wasn't growling.  I suppose it could have been from teething, but that really seems extreme.  We gave her medicine and everything.  It took her about an hour and a half to calm down.  So I was thinking, there is no way I can take this poor child on a 90 mile car trip in two hours.  And to be honest, I wasn't that excited about it.  I had an ultrasound the week before so I knew baby wouldn't look that different.  If it had been weeks, then I would have been more excited.  So with Penelope being sick or whatever the heck was wrong with her, and then highly discouraging children from attending, I cancelled the appointment and didn't reschedule.  Afterwards my pregnancy emotions kicked in and I felt like I let my little one down.  Like, I only have a few chances to see him/her before they are born and I wasn't looking forward to it and cancelled.  I still feel really bad about it.  I keep thinking "what if they grow up and ask me why Penelope has more ultrasounds than they did or where is their 11/12 week ultrasound?"  How crazy do I sound right now?  This is what pregnancy does to you. So, my next ultrasound will be local and scheduled to determine gender when I am 17-20 weeks. 

Although I've decided not to do weekly photos, I will still try to update weekly, or at least regularly.  And sooner or later, I will upload the ultrasound pictures =]

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